Monday, April 04, 2011

Prime Mover

I have been having a lot of free time lately. Its a few minutes a week really, but in those few minutes i have nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing that i have to do. No financial matters to deal with, no relations to maintain, no health issues to worry about. It's a funny floating feeling.

I guess we all have such moments, and dismiss those few minutes of nothingness as aberrations. Details of everyday life are too overwhelming to dwell in such matters. But sometimes that feeling is so strong that it casts a shadow on all your life's doing. Why do we do what we do?

The prime mover has always been attention, recognition from someone else. Why did i write this blog? I could have taken my realization and kept it to myself. But no, i wanted you to read it, and if i am lucky, comment on it (and when you do, perhaps, you seek the same attention :P). I don't have an internal drive, very few do. If there is no one around to see, appreciate even ridicule my actions i wouldn't have done anything but survive. No music, no beauty, no pride, no emotions.

Right from when we are an adorable toddler till we are a cute grandparent, we seek attention. And sometimes i get so tired of it.

Isn't there anything else?

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