Sunday, May 18, 2014


It is only recently that I realized that a career is not compulsory. It will take some time to sink in.

Unfortunately having fun and living your life to the fullest is also not compulsory. You don't need to do that. Many a human survive just fine without it. Most of us fail the Monday test (Do you look forward to it?). I read in a book that the opposite of happiness is not sadness. It's boredom. If you are not excited (every day) by what you do, you are perhaps in the wrong profession. How did I land up here? It is always a case of life happening to us while we are sleepwalking through it. Question is, how long do I continue to sleepwalk? It is certainly possible to do it forever.

The idea of a free life is grand. The practicalities are not. They are mighty confusing. Free is not relaxing. Free is not lolling. Free is hard work. And this is all speculation. Who knows what it is like to be free? I don't. I trade my vigor and energy for money. Every day. Till I will be no longer in possession of any. Is that free? I cannot decide the amount of work I am willing to do. I have numerous wishes which will die simply due to lack of time and energy on my part. Many have. Is that free?

How are we supposed to live? Is there a standard? In our 200,000 years of existence we have not figured it out? Why has no one ever mentioned it to me? Is the fear of having no money enough to block every other thought or possibility that can exist? I am pretty sure it is. And the more money I have the greater the fear of losing it. Economics tells us that money is fungible. That is can be interchanged easily for something else. But experience tells me that money can limit my mind like no other. The addiction is intense. The thought of going a single day without income will strike fear in the heart. The justifications will flow quickly. What will I do when I get old? What will I do now? What will she think? What will he think? What about my self worth? Am I worth nothing?

The people around you define your necessities. Couple of properties. Strong investment portfolio. Gold. Fixed Deposits to take care of emergencies. Some land somewhere hoping for long term appreciation. Plain old cash in the bank. And I define myself by my ability to attain these necessities. I measure my success by how much I went ahead of my friends in possessing them. All other measures of worth are for pansies.

These questions are many and are most important. Important than anything else in the world. But I have not checked my email in a while. And my phone is blinking too. I wish I had his strength of will. These questions will take no less. But who am I kidding?

इहासने शुष्यतु मे शरीरम्
त्वगस्थिमांसं विलयं च यातु । 
अप्राप्य बोधिं बहुकल्पदुर्लभाम् 
नैवासनात् कायामतः चलिष्यते ॥

Let my body wither away on this seat,
let, skin, bone, and flesh get dissolved;
Without getting enlightenment,
difficult to achieve in many eons,
Never shall this body move from this seat.