Saturday, January 14, 2006

Letter to myself

This is the StarShip Enterprise. Star Date 01142006.1314. Captains log.

Hi. This is you. On a lazy Sunday afternoon in Boston you decided to write down what you thought abt things. Your honest views when you were 25. You had nobody in perticular near you to talk to so what you did was tell it to everybody in general. hehe...u were smart or what!
Long ago when you were a kid you were the best at hiding your emotions and opinions from people. But now you have grown up and not afraid of saying them out loud. Good for you man! or maybe you have realised that people are always engrosed in their own lives and they dont give a damn abt what you think anyway.
whatever the case maybe I know at least one person who is going to be interested in reading this. You yourself, many many years after you wrote it. So now that many years have passed, sit back and relax as you get to travel back in time to I dont know wheather you have changed or not, but I have a feeling you always do :)
For those of you who are not me you can enjoy a sneak-peak at somebody's personal diary of sorts.

Lets change the grammer to present tense now.
I have already mentioned the stardate but this is just to refresh your memory. You have come here on 6th Aug 2005 to try and get a Masters degree in Boston University. 1st sem is over and 2nd is about to begin tomorrow. You are still getting over your life of leisure and enjoyment that you were so used to in puNe. damn!! those were fun days. goes

Intelligence, Beauty and your dad's money
These are the 3 most important things till you are in college, and in that order.
The irony is you are born with all the three. I always wondered why some poeple did better than me in college and why I did better than some. Sometimes I used to hate myself for not being able to do what I wanted. Now I realise it was not that big a deal. Because the most important thing you need to do in college is build what they call a character. From then on slowly these three things start taking a back seat and the character thing becomes the driver. You develop it with every decision you take, every dream that you fulfil and every desire that you let go. being proud of intelliegence or beauty is childish. What you should be really concerned abt is this guy. After all what is the fun in winning when you have good cards, its the bad cards that make the game worth playing. Or maybe I am just jealous.

I am no patriot. "Patriotrism is a virtue of the vicious" they say. But I like India. And sometimes I feel like doing something for it. Not immidiately but sometime. Maybe not a lot but something. Why? dont know. I have found nothing that is actually fulfilling. I dont know wheather I ever will. But this might come close. Lets see.

Now thats scary. Scary things interest me. I have thought abt it a lot. I mean why poeple marry. Obviously where is a trivial solution. If you find someone you love and she returns the favor then ur all set. Now for the more "complex" part.
We need a witness for your lives. Somebody to be there for us at the end of the day, and more importantly _only_ for us. I guess the actual person doesn't matter that much. You can get used to almost any decent individual once you accept that she is the one. What does being commited to a person give you? It gives you a purpose. To enrich her life, raise a family, etc. etc. And boy! are we hungry for a purpose! Plus it comes with added atraction like sex, somebody who will make you feel important and wanted, plus there is the pension plan with old-age companionship too. All in all its a good solution to a lot of problems. My only concern is that it might be lot more than it promises. So much more that you might lose track of any other purpose that you had or could have had. Will find out..

will add more later...